Associate for Success

I cannot overstate the importance of trust in establishing the foundation for relationships.  In addition to trust various other elements contribute to the growth and strengthening of relationships.  One that might not readily come to mind is association.  The act of associating with others can contribute to positive relationship building and is linked to the awareness of your own defined leadership persona. Associating behavior is the essence of the classic model Management by Walking Around (MBWA), which is also sometimes referred to as Management by Wandering Around.  MBWA came to light in 1982 in Peters and Waterman’s classic management book, In Search of Excellence. 

The authors profiled the innovative owners of Hewlett-Packard who used MBWA as their signature way of communicating with their organization—not through emails, calls, or memos but by associating: They deliberately got to their people in repeated touch points, in regular face-to-face casual moments. It sounds commonsensical to do, but it was innovative at the time and still produces results. For those leaders needing practice in associating, this strategy can give you a chance to flex your relational muscles. MBWA isn’t haphazard; it is achieved with strategic thought. Getting into a daily routine of associating with a wide range of stakeholders, internal and external, is of primary importance to leadership and to the promotion of a school brand. Adding associating— the deliberate flexing of your communicative muscle as a part of your daily to-do list—builds trust, respect, and forms a base for school leadership power.

Image credit: frederickmordi.files.wordpress.com

Use any of the many free communication channels available online that support an associative online daily routine as you take MBWA onto the digital and social media stage. Go on a hunt. Deliberately identify people you want to associate with in digital spaces and build relationships. There are opportunities for “walking around” in digital spaces today that weren’t existent in 1982. The power of association had a profound impact on me when Trish Rubin saw the chance to associate with me. It came from seeing that potential relationship source on TV after CBS NYC aired a story about how my teachers and I were using Twitter as a teaching, learning, and leadership tool. Our ensuing face-to-face conversations laid the foundation for how digital tools could vastly improve associative behavior. The digital world provides endless opportunities to associate with like-minded educators as well as experts in the field.  

Image credit: www.free-management-ebooks.com/

Consider adding the power of associating to your leadership toolbox.  If you need structure, set your phone on a timer and give yourself 3 minutes to associate with others at various points in your day both face-to-face and virtually. Push yourself to associate daily. Use the Google Calendar Speedy Meetings setting to keep your connecting to short (5–10 minute), meaningful, real-time or online meetings. Just the intention of reducing meeting length from 30 minutes on your calendar can help you be more efficient. Move outside your comfort zone. Identify and reach out to people beyond your brick and mortar building to push your thinking and gain invaluable insight on ways to improve your professional practice. Associating with people that you might not agree or see eye-to-eye with can help to build relationships that you might not have thought were possible. 

All stakeholders, including students, should be on your associating radar. Talk with them about school culture and initiatives. Ask for their impression of the school vision, mission, and values to gain insight on what can be changed as well as to cultivate greater student agency. Seek ideas and suggestions. Smile and say thanks, then follow up selectively with some of these new ambassadors. Include aspirational associations. Associate through “reach” in real time or online. Look above you in a metaphorical sense. Whom do you want to build a relationship with that may have a higher stature? Start wandering around in digital spaces where your prospects are engaging. Twitter is a good resource for this, and once you have “professional collateral” to share that shows who you are, you can use it to associate for connection.

As you associate, “see” around your circle. See people whom you may have the tendency to overlook or to take for granted: Service providers of any sort, businesses, media outlets, professional organizations, senior citizens, very young people, and diverse newcomers to your community can be part of your association plan. They are valuable contacts in their own right and may have additional associative power. Wander around, listen, ask questions, and engage to develop more associative relationships that can complement and improve your ability to lead change. So how have you leveraged the power of associative behavior? What other strategies would you provide to help others associate to succeed?

Content for this post was adapted from BrandED: Tell Your Story, Build Relationships, and Empower Learning. Get your copy TODAY!

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Empathy and Leadership

“It is easy to knock people down. Building people up is at the heart of empathetic leadership.” - @E_Sheninger

No significant relationship can exist without trust. Without relationships, no significant learning occurs. As I continue to research and reflect on strategies to build powerful relationships with others, the topic of empathy has a consistent presence.  In simple terms, empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. So how does this connect to leadership?  I pulled a few connections from an article by Bruna Martinuzzi that address this topic. Below are some highlights.

• Empathy is the oil that keeps relationships running smoothly.
• Research by Dr. Antonio Damasio has shown people with damage to part of the brain associated with empathy show significant deficits in relationship skills, even though their reasoning and learning abilities remain intact.
• Empathy is valued currency. It allows us to create bonds of trust, gives us insights into what others may be feeling or thinking, helps us understand how or why others are reacting to situations, and informs our decisions.
• Tips to become more empathetic include listening, encouragement, know people’s names, don’t interrupt, be cognizant of non-verbal communication, smile, be fully present, and use genuine praise.
• Empathy is an emotional and thinking muscle that becomes stronger the more we use it. 

Let’s be honest.  Empathy is not a typical component of core training and coursework in the field of education.  It is something that we typically learn from our parents, friends, and colleagues.  In my opinion, empathy should be a core component of curriculum in schools and the culture of any organization. Truth be told, this at times can be a difficult lesson for many of us to master. Talking about empathy and demonstrating it are two entirely different concepts. Our mindset and certain pre-dispositions put our own feelings and needs before others.   This is not always a negative, but something that many of us would agree must change.  

As leaders, it is important for us to imagine ourselves in the position of our students, staff, and community members. This gives us a better perspective on the challenges and feelings of those we are tasked to serve. Better, more informed decisions can result from “walking in the shoes” of those who will be most impacted by the decisions that we make. The image below does a great job at articulating four key elements of empathy.

As Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.” A culture of excellence is created through relationships built on trust and sustained through empathy. Showing we care can be as simple as listening intently, demonstrating emotional intelligence, or being non-judgmental when others open up to us about their feelings, concerns, or challenges. However, actions that bring empathy to life can have a profound impact on others. To see what I mean check out this brief video below.

As you think about your professional role as a teacher, administrator, board member, entrepreneur, or in any other field, reflect on how you can be more empathetic towards the people you work with and for. For some of our students the only empathy they might receive occurs within the schoolhouse walls. Regardless of your leadership position, understand that trust is a currency that should be valued above all else. If people don’t trust and relate to you then chances are you are a manager, not a leader. Empathetic leadership not only builds trust, but creates a culture where students want to learn and adults strive to perform their best. In BrandED, Trish Rubin and I discuss the powerful role empathy plays in the stories we share and the relationships we strive to build. 

Make empathy a part of your professional role. In the end you will be a stronger leader and a better person for it.

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Relationships Are Everything

I recently had the honor of being a guest on Dr. Will Deyamport’s podcast called the Dr. Will Show. You can view the Google Hangout video HERE.  We had a vibrant conversation on the topic of Digital Leadership with a focus on school culture, embracing change, strategic use of social media, the Model Schools Conference, and innovation. A major theme that resonated throughout our discussion was the importance of becoming a connected educator and how this in itself can be a powerful catalyst for meaningful change.

If you watch the video you will see light-hearted back and forth banter between Will and me. He totally deserved the grief I gave him as it only took about five years for him to actually invite me onto his show.  In all seriousness though, something Will said to me really resonated. At one point during our conversation he told me how much it meant to him when I gave him a shout out during my keynote at the 2013 Mississippi Educational Computing Association Conference. To be honest, I really didn’t remember doing this as I routinely try to promote the great work of educators I know every opportunity I get.  This made me reflect on the journey Will and I have taken together as connected educators and the resulting relationship we have cultivated.

Image credit https://behappy.me

Will and I met virtually on Twitter way back in 2009. At the time he was known as @peoplegogy on Twitter.  I remember vividly sitting at my desk when I was a principal and seeing Will tweet out each morning “How is the coffee brewing?” Our connection began like many other educators who use social media as part of a Personal Learning Network – we wanted to learn, grow, and get better. Over time we began to communicate and collaborate across an array of social media networks exchanging ideas, providing support, and dispensing out advice. I can’t even count the number of times we have now connected over the years just to check in on one another.

A professional relationship was cultivated.  I always admired Will’s passion for educational technology and genuine interest in becoming a better educator. There are so many benefits associated with becoming a connected educator regardless of your role.  Professional relationships based on a mutual desire to improve professional practice are probably the most important outcome in my opinion. Through every connection you get new sets of virtual ears to vent to and shoulders to lean on.  Silos or isolated islands are often a fact for many of us during the daily grind. A focus on innovative practices also tends to create a lonely place for educators who go against the flow.  Not having a virtual network to complement our face-to-face relationships just seems silly to me now.

Over the years Will and I have gotten to know each other quite well.  Our professional relationship eventually blossomed into a great friendship. When I moved to Texas I drove down from New York City with my twin brother. As I was looking at our route I noticed that we would be driving through Hattiesburg, MS. I didn’t think twice about reaching out to Will and inviting him and his wife to join my brother and me in his hometown for lunch and some brews.  As I think about this story I am overwhelmed by how many other professional relationships forged through social media have resulted in great friendships.

Becoming a connected educator has definitely resulted in an exponential increase in professional relationships for me. Each of these connections over the years helped give me the knowledge, skills, and motivation to lead a successful digital transformation at my former school.  These relationships also assisted me in overcoming fears such as writing, public speaking, and failure. I am who I am today in part because of the connected network of amazing educators I have come to know over time like Will.  It is important to embrace a connected mindset ourselves and then help others build professional relationships themselves as part of a digital leadership strategy. As appreciative as I am about the professional connections I have made, it is the personal relationships and resulting friendships that I have formed that I cherish the most.

Focus on building better professional and personal relationships with any and all means (or tools) at your disposal.  In the end you will be stronger, more confident, and inspired as you journey down the path of professional and personal growth.

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